You can do hard things. A friend sent me this talisman a few days ago to remind me of this.
For me,, October is my favorite months of the year, but it’s also the most difficult month of the year. I’m currently in a wave of depression. Sometimes I forget that for all the beauty we immerse ourselves in, there’s an abyss of darkness that wants to raise its ugly head and swallow us. If we don’t keep going forward, we’ll get stuck in the darkness.
I also forget sometimes that addiction is a bitch. And the person who is addicted is almost always selfish and narcissistic and oblivious to the ripple effect their actions have on other people – their family members especially, but also innocent people on the fringes. Their anger and fear and refusal to get help for themselves so they can be who they need to be for themselves, their kids, their friends, their nieces, nephews, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins – well unfortunately everybody else gets left to decide whether or not to clean up the messes they create.
It’s exhausting. It’s not fair. None of us deserve it. I’m tearful and sickened right now with the very human stories that are close to me and other people I love.
- a mom is dying, yet her child won’t have the usual support from friends because they refused to let go of their own bitterness and anger and lashed out one too many times over the past few years. People get tired of being treated badly and eventually will walk away.
- kids are caught in situations they have zero control over and they’re barely hanging on to their sanity. They’re just trying to survive. I don’t get it and it infuriates me. They’re innocent and they deserve safety and respect.
I could tell 100 more stories over the last 10 years of the sheer magnitude of the ugly and evil that permeates our world, and I’m left with a choice to yet again go find beauty and get my head and heart right and dry my tears and try my best to just let God work in people’s lives.
I can’t interfere. I did that once in the name of rescuing someone I loved dearly, and I learned a very hard, costly lesson that we can’t change people. I’m still paying a high price psychologically. We can’t enable. We can’t fix it. We can’t be the savior. It’s up to them and God alone to want to make the gut wrenching hard choices to decide to make a better life for one’s self.
So here’s a reminder to all those who are struggling to get out, fighting to get clean, praying for a break in the clouds and a reprieve from your storm.
YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS…you must choose to.